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Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, Santa was met at the door by his sobbing wife, Jeeto.
Santa asked, "What happened? Why are you crying?" Tearfully she explained, "It`s the druggist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."
Immediately Santa drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I`ll be damned if I didn`t lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels - the phone is still ringing - when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke. The phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife - she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. Well, Santa ji, I TOLD HER!"
- Going on Date! A guy was at the local dance and he asks a girl to dance.
'OK,' she replies.
'What`s your name?' he asks.
'Franny,' she replies.
'That`s a nice name, Fanny,' he says.
'NO, NO, NO, it`s Franny, Fanny with an R.'
'OK, sorry,' he replies and they... - The Only Pleasure! A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of size 8 tie shoes. The salesman says, 'But, sir, I can see from up here you`re at least a size 11.'
The guy says, 'Just bring me a size 8 tie shoe.'
The salesman brings them, the guy stuffs his feet into them, ties them tight, and then he stands up, obviously in pain.
The salesman just has to ask... - Fruitful trial! Three men who were lost in the jungle were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial.
The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, 'I brought ten apples.'
The king then explained the trial to him... - Too tired!! Alicia was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was woman`s work.
But one evening Alicia arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and... - The Fireman! Santa is a fireman and one day when he came home from work he told his wife, Jeeto, 'You know we have a wonderful system at the fire station:
Bell 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, Bell 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, Bell 3 rings and we are all on the truck ready to go.
From now on when I say Bell 1, I want you to strip naked. When I say Bell 2, I want you to jump into bed, and when I say Bell 3...