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Banta was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents of the young woman he`d been seeing for some time.
He was quite nervous about the meeting, though, and by the time he arrived punctually at the doorstep he was in a state of gastric distress.
The problem developed into one of acute flatulence, and halfway through the coffee, Banta realised he couldn`t hold it in one second longer without exploding. A tiny fart escaped.
"Boxer!" called out the young woman`s mother to the family dog, lying at Banta`s feet.
Relieved at the dog`s having been blamed, Banta let another, slightly larger one go.
"BOXER!" she called out sharply.
"I`ve got it made," thought Banta to himself, "one more and I`ll feel fine."
So he let loose a really big one.
"BOXER!!" shrieked the mother. "Get over here before he shits on you!"
- Where is Jesus? A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred for real. He asked his class, 'Where is Jesus today?'
Steven raised his hand and said, 'He`s in heaven.'
Mary was called on and answered... - Time Sheets An accountant dies and goes to heaven.
He reaches the pearly gates and is amazed to see a happy crowd all waving banners and chanting his name.
After a few minutes St. Peter comes running across and says, 'I`m sorry I wasn`t here to greet you personally. God is looking forward to... - Family business Once there was a Accountant. The business had been in the family for generations and generations. Over time, with the countless clients that had gone in and out of the office, the marble step in front of the building had developed a big, deep dip in it from all the wear and tear.
His friends kept telling the accountant that he had better get it replaced, otherwise he`d... - Speeding ticket A guy is speeding down a highway and he gets pulled over. The cop says, 'You were speeding.'
The guy says, 'No I wasn`t, I was just going slow.'
The guy`s wife in the Passenger seat says, 'No officer, He was speeding the whole time.'
The guy glares at his wife and says... - Drive Slow!! Santa lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate.
The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day he called the Inspector`s and said, 'You`ve got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my...