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    John was on his way to work. He got on his bus and sat down. After a while there is a small bump.
    John; "What was that?"
    Driver; "It was a cat"
    John; "Why did you run it over?"
    Driver; "Well it was either that or swerve into the tree at the side of the road and kill us all!"
    John; "Oh, fair enough"
    A little farthur down the road the bus swerves suddenly and a bigger bump shakes the bus.
    John; "What was that!!?"
    Driver; "It was a dog"
    John; "Why did you run it over?"
    Driver "I couldn`t help it, I tried to swerve but I hit it by accident"
    John; "That`s awful but I suppose you did try to swerve"
    The bus continued on its journey but later on it swerved again and there was a small bump followed by a large thud.
    John; "What is it this time?"
    Driver; "I hit an old lady"
    John; "Oh my god. Is she alright?
    Driver; "No she`s lying in a pool of blood by the side of the road."
    John; "I can`t believe this! Why did this have to happen on my journey."
    The driver called for an ambulence and the bus set off again. When John got off the bus, he asked the driver: "If the big bump was the old lady, what was the small one?"
    The driver simply replied "I had to go on the pavement to get her!"
  • Gastric problem! Banta was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents of the young woman he`d been seeing for some time.
    He was quite nervous about the meeting, though, and by the time he arrived punctually at the doorstep he was in a state of gastric distress.
    The problem developed into one of acute flatulence, and halfway through...
  • Landing problem!! Landing problem!! Santa and Banta were sitting in a bar getting really drunk. After a while, just drinking gets boring, so Santa looks at the Banta and says, 'Hey, you want to go up for a ride in my airplane?'
    Banta says, 'Wow, you have an airplane? Let`s go!'
    So they get some more beer and go for...
  • Where is Jesus? A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred for real. He asked his class, 'Where is Jesus today?'
    Steven raised his hand and said, 'He`s in heaven.'
    Mary was called on and answered...
  • Time Sheets An accountant dies and goes to heaven.
    He reaches the pearly gates and is amazed to see a happy crowd all waving banners and chanting his name.
    After a few minutes St. Peter comes running across and says, 'I`m sorry I wasn`t here to greet you personally. God is looking forward to...
  • Family business Once there was a Accountant. The business had been in the family for generations and generations. Over time, with the countless clients that had gone in and out of the office, the marble step in front of the building had developed a big, deep dip in it from all the wear and tear.
    His friends kept telling the accountant that he had better get it replaced, otherwise he`d...
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