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So this lady elephant is walking along the forest, when she gets a sliver in her foot. It`s really quite painful, so when she sees this bunny rabbit on the forest floor, she asks him to pull the sliver out.
The rabbit says, "Okay, but if I do this favour for you, you have to promise to do a favour for me."
"Alright," says the elephant, "what?"
"Well you see," says the rabbit, "I haven`t gotten my rocks off in a long time. I`ve had no action at all, and I thought that you might help me."
The elephant is a little shocked, but she wants that sliver out, so she agrees.
So the rabbit pulls the sliver out and says, "Okay, get ready," and jumps up there and starts going to town with the elephant.
This monkey in a tree nearby sees this little bunny rabbit going at with the elephant, and he starts jumping up and down and laughing in the tree. He jumps so hard that a coconut falls out of the tree and hits the elephant on the head.
The elephant says, "Ouch!"
And the rabbit says, "That`s right bitch, take it all!"
- Guess my age? A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, 'I hope you don`t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?'
'About 35,' was the reply.
'I`m actually... - Revenge! A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.
'Certainly, sir, that`ll be 1 cent.'
'One penny!?' exclaimed the guy.
The barman replied, 'Yes.'
So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks... - Snoring cure!!! A woman had a big old German Shepherd that snored so loudly she could never hear her soap operas in the afternoon. Over coffee one morning she happened to mention the problem to her neighbor, who leaned over and whispered confidentially that she had just the solution.
'The next time it happens, tie a ribbon around his... - Banta`s guests Three guys were driving down a country road when their car broke down. Luckily, they were near Banta`s farm. They went to him, and asked if they could spend the night there, while the tow truck came.
Banta said, 'Fine, but I better not catch any of you fooling around with my beautiful wife.'
To insure this Banta secretly shoved a... -
Bad day! Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, Santa was met at the door by his sobbing wife, Jeeto.
Santa asked, 'What happened? Why are you crying?'Tearfully she explained, 'It`s the druggist- he...