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An elderly man lay dying in his bed.
In death`s agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen.
Were it not for death`s agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spread out upon newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips parted; the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth; seemingly bringing him back to life.
The aged and withered hand, shockingly made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.
"Stay out of those," she said, "they`re for the funeral."
- Bus Driver John was on his way to work. He got on his bus and sat down. After a while there is a small bump.
John; 'What was that?'
Driver; 'It was a cat'
John; 'Why did you run it over?'
Driver; 'Well it was either that or... - Suicide! Mildred was a 93 year old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband.
Not able to handle being alone, she decides to kill herself and join him in death. She starts to think about quick and easy ways, and remembers abouther husband`s old Army pistol. With that thought, she decides to... - Gastric problem! Banta was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents of the young woman he`d been seeing for some time.
He was quite nervous about the meeting, though, and by the time he arrived punctually at the doorstep he was in a state of gastric distress.
The problem developed into one of acute flatulence, and halfway through... -
Landing problem!! Santa and Banta were sitting in a bar getting really drunk. After a while, just drinking gets boring, so Santa looks at the Banta and says, 'Hey, you want to go up for a ride in my airplane?'
Banta says, 'Wow, you have an airplane? Let`s go!'
So they get some more beer and go for... - Where is Jesus? A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred for real. He asked his class, 'Where is Jesus today?'
Steven raised his hand and said, 'He`s in heaven.'
Mary was called on and answered...