Long distance runner

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    A mouse was setting in a bar having a drink when a beautiful giraffe came in and sat down at the end of the bar.
    The mouse looked over at her and ordered her a drink.
    Soon he had moved down beside her and ordered her another drink.
    After a third round, the bartender looked up and they were leaving the bar together.
    The next day the mouse limped into the bar, barely crawled up on the barstool and sat there gasping for air. His whiskers were bent and broken, tail was crooked and patches of hair were falling out.
    The bartender took one look and said, "How did it go last night?"
    The mouse said, "Man, that was the best sex I ever had."
    The bartender asked, "Why do you look so bad?"
    The mouse replied, "Hey, between the kissing and the screwing I must have run 10 miles!"
  • DoorKnob! Santa and his wife, Jeeto were in the bathroom getting ready for work when Santa looked at Jeeto and said, 'I got to have you!'
    Santa backed Jeeto up against the bathroom door, pulled down her...
  • Painful!! So this lady elephant is walking along the forest, when she gets a sliver in her foot. It`s really quite painful, so when she sees this bunny rabbit on the forest floor, she asks him to pull the sliver out.
    The rabbit says, 'Okay, but if I do this favour for you, you have to promise to...
  • The Father!!! A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.
    The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way. The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father.'
    The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn`t wear his collar like that.'
    The priest looked up from his book and answered...
  • Guess my age? A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, 'I hope you don`t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?'
    'About 35,' was the reply.
    'I`m actually...
  • Revenge! A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.
    'Certainly, sir, that`ll be 1 cent.'
    'One penny!?' exclaimed the guy.
    The barman replied, 'Yes.'
    So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks...
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