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There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.
One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I`ll quit!"
Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen".
This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age.
About a week after the new priest arrived. He visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.
The priest said, "You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen."
The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word.
Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don`t know what you`re laughing about, your wife fell three times this week."
- Only one wish A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.
The genie said 'OK, OK. You released me from the lamp. This is the fourth time this month and I`m getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only... - Bus Driver John was on his way to work. He got on his bus and sat down. After a while there is a small bump.
John; 'What was that?'
Driver; 'It was a cat'
John; 'Why did you run it over?'
Driver; 'Well it was either that or... - Suicide! Mildred was a 93 year old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband.
Not able to handle being alone, she decides to kill herself and join him in death. She starts to think about quick and easy ways, and remembers abouther husband`s old Army pistol. With that thought, she decides to... - Gastric problem! Banta was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents of the young woman he`d been seeing for some time.
He was quite nervous about the meeting, though, and by the time he arrived punctually at the doorstep he was in a state of gastric distress.
The problem developed into one of acute flatulence, and halfway through... -
Landing problem!! Santa and Banta were sitting in a bar getting really drunk. After a while, just drinking gets boring, so Santa looks at the Banta and says, 'Hey, you want to go up for a ride in my airplane?'
Banta says, 'Wow, you have an airplane? Let`s go!'
So they get some more beer and go for...