•  

    There was once a man and his dog, who were stranded on an island. One day, the man was really desperate and wanted to have sex real bad, so he went round the island, hoping to find a woman or something, except for a barrel.
    So with! that, he poked a hole through the middle of the barrel and screwed till he was satisfied. Ever since then, he used that to fulfil his sexual desires.
    One day, his dog, had the sexual urge too, so it decided to use the method that its master have been using. So the two of them used the barrel until they died.
    About 50 years later, the island was founded by a group of old nuns and they built a nunnery there. One day the Chief Nun found a certain barrel which contained a loadful of wax, so she took it and made them into candles.
    The candles were then used to light up the nunnery in the dark until one day, a nun got naughty and decided to satisfy herself with the candles. She throughly enjoyed herself from it. However 10 months later, she rushed into the Mother Superior`s room and said, "I`ve got to confess, I used the candle to satisfy my inner desires 10 months ago and now I have a baby."
    Mother Superior then r! eplied, "You`re more fortunate my child, *I`ve* got a puppy...!!"
  • How to unlock? One night this guy and his girlfriend were about to go into his apartment and before he could open his door his girlfriend said, 'Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door.'
    So the guy says, 'Well, give me some examples.'
    So the girlfriend proceeds to tell him...
  • Which girlfriend? There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one to marry, so he decides to give each one Rs 20000 and see how each of them spends it.
    The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, 'I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because
  • Sterile?!? A doctor had just delivered twins. They were a boy and a girl. The head nurse brought them out for their father to see.
    He could hardly believe his good fortune. The girl baby had a pink blanket wrapped around her and the boy baby was enclosed in a blue blanket.
    He took one step forward jus...
  • Nursing home Reluctantly, the Segal family had to put their grandfather in a nursing home. As all the Jewish homes were full, they had to put him in a Catholic home. After a few weeks in the home, they came to visit him.
    'How do you like it here, Zeida?' asked the grandson.
    'Everyone here is so...
  • The raffle There is a raffle at the local Jewish Community Centre and prizes are being drawn.
    '4th prize, which goes to Hymie, is a BMW Royce.'
    Huge applause. Hymie goes up to collect his keys and shake hands.
    '3rd prize, which goes to Jacob, is a...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT