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A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says, "Yes, you`re in a hot air balloon, hovering 50 feet above this field. "
"You must be an engineer", says the balloonist.
"I am", replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well", says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it`s of no use to anyone."
The man below says, "You must be in management."
"I am", replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well", says the man, "you don`t know where you are, or where you`re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You`re in the same position you were before we met, but now it`s my fault. "
- Surnames!! A woman had 8 children, all of them boys. So, one day a magazine sent a journalist to her house for an interview.
He asked her about the boys and what their names were; she said, 'Johnnie'.
'Right', he said, 'what about that blond... - Missing pendulum! There was an expectant father who had spent quite some time waiting for the offspring to arrive - at his in-laws place. He was absolutely positive that his wife was going to present him with a boy and wouldn`t hear of anything else.
As his leave balance had gone into the red, he told his father-in-law, 'When my son comes, do not... - Where`s the ball? 'How was your golf game, dear?' asked Jack`s wife Tracy.
'Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight`s gotten so bad I couldn`t see where the ball went.'
'But you`re seventy-five years old, Jack!' admonished his wife, 'Why don`t you take my brother Scott along?'
'But he`s eighty-five and doesn`t even... - Santa facing Lee In a Test between India and Australia, the fiery Bret Lee was sending quivers down the Indian spine. The new batsman, our Santa, walked slowly to the crease, not feeling unlike a lamb at the slaughter house.
As Lee thundered in, suddenly Santa stood up in the crease, and signalled that he wanted the sight screen adjusted. Adjustments were made and... - Beneficial walking! The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing.
The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
The teacher then announced...,