| This couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn`t wait to go into town, tease the barmaids and party with his old buddies, so he says to his new wife, "Honey, I`ll be right back..." "Where are you going coochy cooh...?", asked the wife. "I`m going to the bar, pretty face. I`m going to have a beer." The wife says to him, "You want a beer my love?" Then she opens the door to the refrigerator and shows him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc. The husband doesn`t know what to do, and the only thing that he can think of saying is, "Yes, loolie loolie... but the bar.... you know... the frozen glass...". He didn`t get to finish the sentence, when the wife interrupts him by saying, "You want a frozen glass puppy face?" She takes a huge beer mug out of the freezer so frozen that she was getting chills holding it. The husband, looking a bit pale, says, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d`oeuvres that are really delicious...I won`t be long. I`ll be right back. I promise. OK?" "You want hors d`oeuvres poochi pooh?" She opens the oven and takes out 15 dishes of different hors d`oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc. "But sweet honey...at the bar...you know...the swearing, the dirty words and all that..." The wife looks at him and said: "You want some dirty words cutie pie? SIT THE FUCK DOWN - DRINK YOUR FUCKIN` BEER IN YOUR FROZEN FUCKIN` MUG - EAT YOUR FUCKIN` SNACKS - YOU AREN`T GOING TO THE FUCKIN` BAR !!! GOT IT, ASSHOLE ?!?!" |