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A man is speeding down the freeway when he`s stopped by a police car and has to pull over.
"Do you realize you were doing 90 m.p.h. in a 60 m.p.h. zone, sir?" asks the policeman.
"That`s impossible, sir, I never break the speed limit," replies the driver.
The driver`s wife butts in and says, "Yes, you do, I`m always telling you to keep your speed down."
The policeman says, "I also noticed, sir, that you didn’t have your seat belt on. You put it on as I was walking up to your car."
That is not true, sir; I always wear my seat belt," replies the driver.
"No, you don’t, I`m always telling you to put your seat belt on," says the driver’s wife.
"Dammit, woman!" the driver explodes, "Can’t you, just for once, keep that big, fat trap of yours shut?!"
The policeman is a bit shocked by how the driver is speaking to his wife, so he moves around to her side of the car. "Does he often speak to you like this, madam?"
"Oh, no, officer," she says, "only when he`s drunk."
- Perfect archer A duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants; he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow.
'Who is this incredibly fine archer?' cried the duke. 'I must find him!'
After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually the boy admitted that... - Lost ball! Santa and Banta head out for a quick round of golf. Since they are short on time, they decide to play only 9 holes.
Santa says to Banta, 'Let`s say we make the time worth the while, at least for one of us, and spot Rs 500 on the lowest score for the day.`
Banta agrees and they enjoy a great game. After the 8th hole, Banta is... - Lost baloonist! A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, 'Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?'
The man below says, 'Yes, you`re in a hot air balloon, hovering 50 feet above this field. '
'You must be an... -
English girl!! Banta`s wife, Preeto, goes to England to attend a two-week, company training session. Banta drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
Preeto answers, 'Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?'
Banta laughs and says... - Surnames!! A woman had 8 children, all of them boys. So, one day a magazine sent a journalist to her house for an interview.
He asked her about the boys and what their names were; she said, 'Johnnie'.
'Right', he said, 'what about that blond...