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An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London.
The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog.
The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma`am, may I sit in that seat?" The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can`t you see my little Fifi is using that seat?"
The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog.
Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I`m very tired."
The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!"
The soldier didn`t say anything else. He leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier.
An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road.
And now, sir, you`ve thrown the wrong bitch out of the window."
- Horse Rider A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but... - CBI`s Recruitment! The CBI is considering three men to be hired. They bring them in to speak with the interviewer separately. The first man comes in and sits down. The interviewer asks him:
'Do you love your wife?'
'Yes I do, sir.'
'Do you love... - Speed limit A man is speeding down the freeway when he`s stopped by a police car and has to pull over.
'Do you realize you were doing 90 m.p.h. in a 60 m.p.h. zone, sir?' asks the policeman.
'That`s impossible, sir, I never break the speed limit,' replies the driver.
The driver`s wife butts in and says... - Password!!! An elderly man dies and goes to heaven. At the pearly gates Saint Peter welcomes him but states that the man must know how to spell the secret password to get in.
The old man replies, 'You mean I don`t have to know it, I just have to spell it?'
Saint Peter says... - Perfect archer A duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants; he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow.
'Who is this incredibly fine archer?' cried the duke. 'I must find him!'
After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually the boy admitted that...