-
One day a man was sitting on his sofa at home when he heard a knock at the door. He got up to see who it was but when he opened the door no one was there. Just as he was about to sit down he heard the knock again but when he got there again, there was no one at the door.
He scratched his head, looked around for a second and looked down to see a tiny snail on the porch.
He picked up the snail, threw it into a field across the street and headed back inside to watch television again.
Three Years Later
The same man is sitting on his sofa watching TV and hears a knock at the door. He gets up and goes to see who`s there and there is no one.
He looks around for a second and just as he is about to close the door, he looks down and sees the snail who looks back up and says "What the Hell was that all about!!?".
- Johnny and the Pastor One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and...
-
Conveyance in heaven Three guys die and go to heaven.
The first guy goes up to St. Peter, who says, 'In all the years you were married, were you ever unfaithful to your wife?'
The guy thinks a moment then says... - Wrong bitch An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London.
The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being... - Legal marriage!!! Banta and his fiance, Preeto, arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them. He asked if they had a license and, when they didn`t, sent them off to get one.
They caught the town clerk just as he was locking up, and got the license from him. When they got back to the judge, he pointed out that... - Horse Rider A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but...