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There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire.
"Hey kid!" the farmer says. "Where are you going with that wire?"
"Well," the kid drawls, "this here ain`t just any old wire, this here`s chicken wire- I`m fixin` to catch me some chickens!"
"You can`t catch chickens with chicken wire!"
"Sure I can!" the kid says, and takes off down the road.
He comes back at the end of the day and sure enough, he`s got a whole mess of chickens caught in his chicken wire.
Well, the farmer`s sitting on his porch the next day, and the same kid comes walking down the lane, carrying a big roll of tape.
"Hey kid!" the farmer yells. "Where are you going with that tape?"
"Well, this here ain`t just any old tape, this here`s duck tape- I`m fixin` to catch me some ducks!"
"You can`t catch ducks with duck tape!" the farmer yells back.
"Sure I can!" the kid says, and takes off down the road.
He comes back at the end of the day and again, the farmer can`t believe his eyes. The kid had a whole bunch of ducks all wrapped up tightly in his tape.
The next day the farmer`s sitting on his porch again, and the kid comes walking down the road carrying a stick.
"Hey kid!" the farmer says. "Where are you going with that stick?"
"Well, this here ain`t just any old stick, this here`s pussy willow."
"Hang on," the farmer says, "I`ll get my hat."
- A handy tip My girlfriend and me were dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!
There was only one thing bothering me, quite much indeed, and that was my mother-in-law to be. She was a career woman, smart, but most of all... - Suntanned!!! There was a man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror, admiring his body, and noticed that he was suntanned all over with the exception of his penis. So he decided to do something about that.
He went to the beach, undressed completely, and buried himself in.. - Fruits of Luv! Banta nad Preeto were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and they had not been seen for 3 days.
An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were getting concerned about the welfare of these newlywed... - Religious!!! A young man walks into a drug store and asks the cashier for some condoms.
The cashier says 'Got a good one?'
'Yup, hot date tonight! This ones pretty much in the bag… she`s sexy and givin` it up tonight!' the man replies.
A little while later the man goes to his girlfriends house and they... - Banta`s Headache Banta has been suffering from severe headaches for years with no relief. After trying all the usual cures he`s referred to a headache specialist by his family doctor. The doctor asks him what his symptoms are and he replies.
'I get these blinding headaches; kind of like a knife across my scalp and....