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An old man and old woman had been married for about 52 years when the old woman died.
The entire family showed up for the funeral, and every day after the funeral the old man would visit the grave with his dog and spend a few minutes out there.
The groundskeeper at the cemetary, after two months of observing this ritual, decided to go talk to the old man.
"Hello there. You know, I see you come out here every day to visit your wife`s grave and I just think that so sweet. I was wondering if the dog is something that was special to your wife since you always bring it out here with you."
"No, actually I bring the dog out here to pee on the grave. I`d do it myself, but I`d get arrested for indecent exposure!"
- Praise the Lord! An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout 'PRAISE THE LORD!'
Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, 'There ain`t no Lord!!'
Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she... - Bouquet of roses Banta was very much in love with a beautiful girl.
One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. Banta told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life.
That evening Banta called the local florist and ... - Smart painter Santa was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house.
'You did a great job.' he said and handed the man a check.
'Also, in order to thank-you, here`s an extra Five hundred rupees to take the Mrs out to dinner and a movie.'
Later that night... - The Truth! A man`s wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. So he walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine.
At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in... - Cotton balls A Texan walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles... The salesgirl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of...