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    Osama in Hell
    Osama bin Laden has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
    "I don`t know what to do here," the devil says. "You`re on my list, but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I`ll tell you what I`m going to do: I`ve got a couple of people here who weren`t quite as bad as you. I`ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I`ll even let YOU decide who leaves."
    Osama thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil led him into the first room.
    In it was Manuel Noriega and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty-handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
    "No," bin Laden said, "I don`t think so. I`m not a good swimmer and I don`t think I could do that all day long."
    So the devil led him to the next room. In it was the Ayatollah Khomeini with a sledgehammer and a huge pile of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
    "No, I`ve got this problem with my shoulder. I`d be in constant agony if all I did was break rocks all day," Laden commented.
    So the devil opened a third door. In it, bin Laden saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was his girl Monica, doing what she does best. Osama bin Laden stared in disbelief and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
    The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you`re free to go."
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