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Santa had just gotten a new car and was out for a drive when he accidentally cut off a truck driver. Truck driver motioned for Santa to pull over.
When Santa did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to Santa, "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!"
He then went to Santa's car and cut up his leather seats.
When he turned around, Santa had a slight grin on her face, so he said, "Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!"
He gets a bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at Santa, he has a smile on his face.
He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires.
Now Santa's laughing.
The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of petrol, pours it on her car and sets it on fired.
He turns around and Santa is laughing so hard he is about to fall down.
"What's so funny?" the truck driver asked the blonde.
Santa replied, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle!!"
- Dead Mule A preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule in the churchyard. He called the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the preacher to the health department.
They said since there was no health threat that he should call the sanitation department.
The sanitation manager said... -
Wrong Detergent! A young boy, about eight years old, was at the grocery store picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
'Oh, no laundry,' the boy said, 'I`m going to wash my dog.'
'But you shouldn`t use this to wash your dog. It`s very... - Insurance policy Sergeant Frank was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.
It wasn`t long before Captain Jack noticed that Frank had almost a hundred percent record for insurance sales, which had never happened before.
Rather than ask about this... - Smart Santa A man with no arms walked up to a bar and asked for a beer.
Santa, the bartender, shoved the foaming glass in front of him.
'Look,' said the customer, 'I have no arms- would you please hold the glass up to my mouth?'
'Sure', said santa, and he did.
'Now,' said the customer, 'I wonder if you... - Proverbs by kids A Third grade teacher collected well known proverbs. He gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to come up with the rest. Here is what the kids came up with:
Love all, trust ... me.
No news is...