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A golfer sends his ball into the trees. As he tries to bring the ball back to the fairway, he discovers a gap among the trees. With his wooden club, he tries to hit the ball to the green in his second hit. However, the ball hits a tree, bounces back and lands in the golfer's face. He dies on the spot. At the heavenly gate, St Peter asks the golfer about his activities back on earth.
When he hears that the man used to play golf, St Peter, with seeming interest, asks, "And were you any good at it?"
"You could say that," the deceased smiles. "I made it here in two strokes."
- Cat food A woman is enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening.
'Oh, no! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He's going to really be ticked if it's not ready on time.'
When she gets home, she realizes she doesn't have enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she has in the cupboard is a... - Dead Mule A preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule in the churchyard. He called the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the preacher to the health department.
They said since there was no health threat that he should call the sanitation department.
The sanitation manager said... -
Wrong Detergent! A young boy, about eight years old, was at the grocery store picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
'Oh, no laundry,' the boy said, 'I`m going to wash my dog.'
'But you shouldn`t use this to wash your dog. It`s very... - Insurance policy Sergeant Frank was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.
It wasn`t long before Captain Jack noticed that Frank had almost a hundred percent record for insurance sales, which had never happened before.
Rather than ask about this... - Smart Santa A man with no arms walked up to a bar and asked for a beer.
Santa, the bartender, shoved the foaming glass in front of him.
'Look,' said the customer, 'I have no arms- would you please hold the glass up to my mouth?'
'Sure', said santa, and he did.
'Now,' said the customer, 'I wonder if you...