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A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed... driving his partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, "What the hell is taking so long? Hit the damned ball!"
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Give me a break! You don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here."
- Santa's new car Santa had just gotten a new car and was out for a drive when he accidentally cut off a truck driver. Truck driver motioned for Santa to pull over.
When Santa did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to Santa, 'Stand in that... - Cat food A woman is enjoying a good game of bridge with her girlfriends one evening.
'Oh, no! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He's going to really be ticked if it's not ready on time.'
When she gets home, she realizes she doesn't have enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she has in the cupboard is a... - Dead Mule A preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule in the churchyard. He called the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the preacher to the health department.
They said since there was no health threat that he should call the sanitation department.
The sanitation manager said... -
Wrong Detergent! A young boy, about eight years old, was at the grocery store picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
'Oh, no laundry,' the boy said, 'I`m going to wash my dog.'
'But you shouldn`t use this to wash your dog. It`s very... - Insurance policy Sergeant Frank was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.
It wasn`t long before Captain Jack noticed that Frank had almost a hundred percent record for insurance sales, which had never happened before.
Rather than ask about this...