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Banta goes into a bar and says, "Give me a Gin and Tonic."
The bartender reaches under the bar and places an apple on it.
Banta looks at the apple skeptically and the bartender says, "Go ahead. Take a bite."
Banta takes a bite and incredibly, it tastes like gin.
The bartender smiles and says, "Turn it around."
He does and it tastes like tonic. He finishes the apple.
A few minutes pass and Banta says, "Give me a Vodka and Orange juice."
The bartender once again reaches behind the bar and places another apple on it. Banta eyes the suspicious fruit and the bartender says, "Go ahead. Take a bite."
He bites into it and he can't believe it. It tastes like vodka.
The bartender smiles and says, "Turn it around."
Banta turns the apple and it tastes like orange juice, so he finishes the apple.
Just then, a beautiful woman walks past the two men and Banta says to the bartender, "You know, I could sure go for some pussy about now."
The bartender nods, reaches below the bar and produces yet another apple.
Banta says, "No way man."
The bartender says, "Go ahead. Take a bite."
He takes a bite and angrily spits out the apple. "Yuck!! That tastes like shit!!!"
The bartender smiles and says, "Turn it around."
- Night of pleasure A man wants to introduce his nephew to the game of sex. The young man is worried that he might not do it right so his uncle comes up with a plan.
The young man will get a hooker, wine her and dine her, then take her back to his apartment for a night of pleasure. The uncle will be in the bedroom closet so if the boy has a problem, he can shout it out, and from the closet will come the... - Body heat! An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, 'My hands are freezing cold.'
The mother replied, 'Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up.'
So the daughter did and her hands warmed up.
The next day the daughter was riding with her boyfriend and he said... -
The Marathon Man A guy and his manager go down to the docks. The manager is betting every docker he sees that his guy can make love to 100 women in a row, without pausing, and satisfy them all.
Bets are made, and they agree that they'll meet the next day. The next day... - Turn on the heat! There once was a conservative college in the mid-west that had a standing rule, the heat was not to be turned on in the dormitories (hostel) prior to a certain date.
Unfortunately, one year, winter decided to rear its ugly head early. Students in both the men's and women's dormitories complained about the bitter cold, but... - Smart Marwari! A girl had devised a device to cause any car that passed in front of her house to suddenly break down but couldn't find any practical way to profit from it.
So, thinking clearly, she set up the device, and as the cars passed the house and broke down, she'd offer the man in the car...