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Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: "TWO PROSTITUTES -- $50.00."
A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail
Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES."
One of the girls asked the cop: "How come you don't stop them?!"
"Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion."
So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their sign down and drove off.
The following day found the same cop in the area when he noticed the two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again.
Figuring he had an easy bust, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign which read: "TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER -- $50.00."
- Turn it around! Banta goes into a bar and says, 'Give me a Gin and Tonic.'
The bartender reaches under the bar and places an apple on it.
Banta looks at the apple skeptically and the bartender says, 'Go ahead. Take a bite.'
Banta takes a bite and incredibly, it tastes like gin.
The bartender smiles and says... - Spitting Banta! Banta was sitting on a park bench muttering to himself and spitting. He would mutter, then spit, mutter, then spit, he would say, 'Damn, that son of a bitch can drive', then spit, 'Damn, that son of a bitch can drive', then spit, 'Damn that son of a bitch can drive', then spit.
Santa sits down next to him and asks... - Night of pleasure A man wants to introduce his nephew to the game of sex. The young man is worried that he might not do it right so his uncle comes up with a plan.
The young man will get a hooker, wine her and dine her, then take her back to his apartment for a night of pleasure. The uncle will be in the bedroom closet so if the boy has a problem, he can shout it out, and from the closet will come the... - Body heat! An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, 'My hands are freezing cold.'
The mother replied, 'Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up.'
So the daughter did and her hands warmed up.
The next day the daughter was riding with her boyfriend and he said... -
The Marathon Man A guy and his manager go down to the docks. The manager is betting every docker he sees that his guy can make love to 100 women in a row, without pausing, and satisfy them all.
Bets are made, and they agree that they'll meet the next day. The next day...