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A new primary school teacher starts her first day of class. She begins by asking students to stand and introduce themselves.
The first child stands and says, "My name is Mary Johnson."
"Thank you, Mary", says the teacher.
The second student says, "My name is Sam Smith."
"Thank you, Sam."
The third student says, "My name is Johnny Fuckhour."
The teacher is horrified, and tells Johnny that this type of language will not be allowed.
He replies, "Honest, my name is Johnny Fuckhour. If you don't believe me, check up in the fifth grade where my brother is."
So the teacher walks up to the fifth grade class, and asks, "Do you have a Fuckhour in here?"
One boy stands in the back of the room and says, "Hell, no! We don't even get a nap hour in here!"
- Two Angels! Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: 'TWO PROSTITUTES -- $50.00.'
A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail
Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying... - Size matters! A young girl comes home to her mother's house and informs her that she is engaged to be married.
She says, 'Mother, he's wonderful. He's rich beyond our wildest dreams. He has homes in the south of France, Beverly Hills, New York, and about a dozen other cities. He has a 200 ft yacht, Ferraris, Rolls Royces, and a jet airplane. There is only one problem.... - Turn it around! Banta goes into a bar and says, 'Give me a Gin and Tonic.'
The bartender reaches under the bar and places an apple on it.
Banta looks at the apple skeptically and the bartender says, 'Go ahead. Take a bite.'
Banta takes a bite and incredibly, it tastes like gin.
The bartender smiles and says... - Spitting Banta! Banta was sitting on a park bench muttering to himself and spitting. He would mutter, then spit, mutter, then spit, he would say, 'Damn, that son of a bitch can drive', then spit, 'Damn, that son of a bitch can drive', then spit, 'Damn that son of a bitch can drive', then spit.
Santa sits down next to him and asks... - Night of pleasure A man wants to introduce his nephew to the game of sex. The young man is worried that he might not do it right so his uncle comes up with a plan.
The young man will get a hooker, wine her and dine her, then take her back to his apartment for a night of pleasure. The uncle will be in the bedroom closet so if the boy has a problem, he can shout it out, and from the closet will come the...