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A little girl was sitting next to her grandfather as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up and touch his wrinkled cheek. She touched her own cheek after she touched his.
After a little while of thinking she asked, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
He looked at her and said, "Yes, sweetheart God made me a long time ago."
She paused for a few seconds and then asked, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
He replied, "Yes, indeed pumpkin, God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she whispered to him, "God's getting better at it, isn't he?"
- Special offer! Santa goes into the dentist's office to get a bad tooth pulled. As he opens his mouth and the dentist is about to drill, he asks how long the procedure will take.
- Lip prints! Christian middle school for girls was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.
That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called several of the girls to the bathroom and.... -
Bear hunter! There's this guy who shows up at a cabin where these hunters have gathered to hunt bear. Only he shows up without a gun.
The other hunters are very curious. 'How you gonna get a bear without a gun?' they ask.
'Do you have a... - Beating the odds Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country. The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane.
She read books about how safe it was and listened to... - Perfect shot! A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed... driving his partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, 'What the hell is taking so long? Hit the damned ball!'
The guy answers...