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Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones.
One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?"
The guard replies, "They are 3 million, five years, and six months old."
"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?"
The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was five and a half years ago."
- Hired to worry! Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous Banta who ran a small business that he had started himself.
'I need someone with an accounting degree,' Banta said. 'But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my... - Special offer! Santa goes into the dentist's office to get a bad tooth pulled. As he opens his mouth and the dentist is about to drill, he asks how long the procedure will take.
- Lip prints! Christian middle school for girls was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.
That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called several of the girls to the bathroom and.... -
Bear hunter! There's this guy who shows up at a cabin where these hunters have gathered to hunt bear. Only he shows up without a gun.
The other hunters are very curious. 'How you gonna get a bear without a gun?' they ask.
'Do you have a... - Beating the odds Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country. The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane.
She read books about how safe it was and listened to...