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On a very cold night, a young man dropped into the local brothel and the madam said, "You'll have to wait."
"But there's lots of girls that aren't busy right now."
"Yes, but several of the rooms are closed for repairs."
"Listen, I'm pretty desperate. I don't need a room."
So she takes his money and he goes upstairs with one of the staff and, after looking for a place to consummate the transaction, they decide to do it on the roof.
But it's a very cold night, and they freeze to death and fall to the sidewalk.
Santa, who was returning from a bar, looks them over, staggers to the door, and knocks.
"Go away!" says the madam. "We don't allow drunks in here!"
"I don't want in," says Santa. "I just wanted to tell you that your sign fell down."
- Condolences!!! Nancy lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday.
Her daughter constantly is calling her and urging her to get back into the world.
Finally, Nancy says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies... - Artificial insemination A farmer is giving his wife last-minute instructions before heading to town to do chores.
'That fellow from close by will be along this afternoon to inseminate one of the mares. I've hung a nail by the right stall so you'll know which one I want him to impregnate.'
Satisfied that even his mentally challenged wife could understand the instructions, the farmer... - Good deal Once there was a farmer. He had two teenage sons. This farmer had just inherited some of money from his brother's recent death. He couldn't decide what son he could send to college, since he could only afford to send one. This farmer also had two abnormal, retarded turkeys.
He told his sons that whoever could... - Condom packs A man walks into a drug store with his 10-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, 'What are these, Dad?'
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, 'Those are called condoms, son.... Men use them to have safe sex.'
'Oh I see,' replied the boys pensively. 'Yes, I've heard of that in... - Kicking Hormones! Santa was having problems getting it up to have sex with his wife, Jeeto, so he went to the doctor for advice.
The doctor told him the next time he wanted to have sex, to stick his finger in his wife's pussy, and then rub it under his nose, and the smell would cause his hormones to kick in, and he would...