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Two bums were sitting on a street curb, bored as ever.
Then, one of them got an idea, saying "I know, let's play swords!"
"Play swords?" asked the other.
"How?"
"Simple. Whip it out, smack it till it's hard, and we both whack'em together like swords."
So they did, and they were running up and down the street, smacking their dicks together playing swords.
Then, a gay man walked up to them and inquired about their actions.
"We're playing swords!" yelled one of the bums.
The gay man wanted to play too. An hour later, the gay man was becoming exhausted.
"I'm tired," he said. He bent over saying, "kill me!, kill me!!"
- Running motor! There was a 80 year-old man that married a 21 year-old woman. A year later the woman had a baby and the doctor came out and told the old man that he was the father of a 9lb 8oz baby boy.
The old man replied, 'This old motor is still a' running.'
Next year his wife had another baby and the doctor came out and told... - Sign Board! On a very cold night, a young man dropped into the local brothel and the madam said, 'You'll have to wait.'
'But there's lots of girls that aren't busy right now.'
'Yes, but several of the rooms are closed for repairs.'
'Listen, I'm pretty... -
The cutting edge! An American, a Russian and Santa are bragging about the sharpness of their swords and how skillful they are in utilizing the sword.To demonstrate, American pulls his hair, throws it into the air, pulls out his sword and swings it across. To everybody's wonder the hair gets cut... - Condolences!!! Nancy lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday.
Her daughter constantly is calling her and urging her to get back into the world.
Finally, Nancy says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies... - Artificial insemination A farmer is giving his wife last-minute instructions before heading to town to do chores.
'That fellow from close by will be along this afternoon to inseminate one of the mares. I've hung a nail by the right stall so you'll know which one I want him to impregnate.'
Satisfied that even his mentally challenged wife could understand the instructions, the farmer...