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A drunk leaves a bar and decides to take a shortcut through a graveyard. It is raining heavily and very dark.
The drunk fails to see an open grave and falls into it. He tries to climb out of it, but it is too deep and the rain has turned the dirt to mud and has made it too slippery to climb. He gives up after a while and decides to spend the night there.
A while later, another drunk leaves the same bar and decides to take the same shortcut through the graveyard. He, too, falls into that open grave and tries to climb out but the mud is too slippery.
The first drunk is still sitting there and watches as the other drunk tries but fails to get out.
The first drunk stands up, taps the second drunk on the shoulder and tells him, "You'll never get out!".
But he did.
- Murdering liar! A judge asked a defendant to please stand. 'You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw.'
From out in the audience a man shouted, 'Lying bastard!'
'Silence in the court!', the judge shouted back to the man.
He turned to the defendant and said, 'You are also charged with killing a... - Quick thinking! Santa used to work in a saw-mill. He was in hospital after he lost his arm in an accident.
Banta was visiting him in the hospital.
Banta: 'It was really bad that you lost your hand. However thank... - Not sticking!!! George W Bush wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He so instructed his Postmaster General,stressing that it should be of international quality.
The stamps were duly released... - Who's the boss? A retiring farmer needed to rid his farm of animals in preparation for selling his land, so he went to every house in his village.
To the houses where the husband was the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the wife was the boss, he gave a chicken.
When the farmer... -
Taxman! The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a Rs 10,000 bet.
The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze...