Desire to steal!

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    "Mr. Jacobs," the analyst said, "I think this will be your last visit."
    "Does that mean I'm cured?" he asked.
    "For all practical purposes, yes," she said. "I think we can safely say that your kleptomania is now under control. You haven't stolen anything in two years, and you seem to know where the kleptomania came from."
    "Well, that's terrific, Doctor. Before I go, I'd like to tell you something. Although our relationship is strictly professional, it's been one of the most rewarding of my life. I wish I could do something to repay you for helping me."
    "You've paid my fee," the doctor said. "That's the only responsibility you have."
    "I know," Jacobs said. "But isn't there some personal favor I could do for you?"
    "Well," the doctor said, "I'll tell you what. If you ever suffer a relapse, my son could use a nice portable color television."
  • Faith!!! Faith!!! A nun who works for a local home health care agency was out making her rounds when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it there was a station just down the street.
    She walked to the station to borrow a can with enough gas to start the car and drive to the station for a fill up.
    The attendant regretfully told her that...
  • Open grave! A drunk leaves a bar and decides to take a shortcut through a graveyard. It is raining heavily and very dark.
    The drunk fails to see an open grave and falls into it. He tries to climb out of it, but it is too deep and the rain has turned the dirt to mud and has made it too slippery to climb. He gives up after a while and...
  • Rivalry An interoffice volleyball game was held every year between the marketing and support staff of Santabanta.com.
    In 2002, the support staff whipped the marketing department soundly.
    But the marketing department showed how they earn their keep by...
  • Murdering liar! A judge asked a defendant to please stand. 'You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw.'
    From out in the audience a man shouted, 'Lying bastard!'
    'Silence in the court!', the judge shouted back to the man.
    He turned to the defendant and said, 'You are also charged with killing a...
  • Quick thinking! Santa used to work in a saw-mill. He was in hospital after he lost his arm in an accident.
    Banta was visiting him in the hospital.
    Banta: 'It was really bad that you lost your hand. However thank...
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