-
"My god! What happened to you?" the bartender asked Richards as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast.
"I got in a tiff with Martin."
"Martin? He's just a wee fellow," the barkeep said, surprised. "He must have had something in his hand."
"That he did," Richards said. "A shovel it was."
"Dear Lord. Didn't you have anything in your hand?"
"Aye, that I did-- Mrs. Martin's tit." Richards said. "And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight."
- Original offer! The bartender asks him 'What'll you have?'
The guy answers, 'A scotch, please'.
The bartender hands him the drink, and says, 'That'll be five dollars.'
'What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this'.
A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation... -
Faith!!! A nun who works for a local home health care agency was out making her rounds when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it there was a station just down the street.
She walked to the station to borrow a can with enough gas to start the car and drive to the station for a fill up.
The attendant regretfully told her that... - Open grave! A drunk leaves a bar and decides to take a shortcut through a graveyard. It is raining heavily and very dark.
The drunk fails to see an open grave and falls into it. He tries to climb out of it, but it is too deep and the rain has turned the dirt to mud and has made it too slippery to climb. He gives up after a while and... - Rivalry An interoffice volleyball game was held every year between the marketing and support staff of Santabanta.com.
In 2002, the support staff whipped the marketing department soundly.
But the marketing department showed how they earn their keep by... - Murdering liar! A judge asked a defendant to please stand. 'You are charged with murdering a school teacher with a chain saw.'
From out in the audience a man shouted, 'Lying bastard!'
'Silence in the court!', the judge shouted back to the man.
He turned to the defendant and said, 'You are also charged with killing a...