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An old lady went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation.
"It's terrible," she said, "I haven't moved my bowels in a week."
"I see. Have you done anything about it?" asked the doctor.
"Naturally," she replied, "I sit in the bathroom for a half- hour in the morning and again at night."
"No," the doctor said, "I mean do you take anything?"
"Naturally," she answered, "I take a book."
- Wrong number! The worried Preeto sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear.
'How are you, darling?' she said. 'What kind of a day are you having?'
'Oh, mother,' said Preeto, breaking into bitter tears, 'I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the... - A beautiful thing! My god! What happened to you?' the bartender asked Richards as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast.
'I got in a tiff with Martin.'
'Martin? He's just a wee fellow,' the barkeep said, surprised... - Desire to steal! 'Mr. Jacobs,' the analyst said, 'I think this will be your last visit.'
'Does that mean I'm cured?' he asked.
'For all practical purposes, yes,' she said. 'I think we can safely say that your kleptomania is now under control. You haven't stolen anything in two years, and you seem to know where... - Original offer! The bartender asks him 'What'll you have?'
The guy answers, 'A scotch, please'.
The bartender hands him the drink, and says, 'That'll be five dollars.'
'What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this'.
A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation... -
Faith!!! A nun who works for a local home health care agency was out making her rounds when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it there was a station just down the street.
She walked to the station to borrow a can with enough gas to start the car and drive to the station for a fill up.
The attendant regretfully told her that...