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The Major went out to find that none of his soldiers were there. One finally ran up, sweating heavily.
"Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran five miles, and now I'm here."
The Major was very skeptical about this explanation but at least he was here so he let the soldier go. Moments later, more soldiers came up to the Major panting, he asked them why they were late.
"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."
The Major eyed them, feeling very skeptical but since he let the first guy go, he let them go, too.
Another soldier jogged up to the Major, panting heavily.
"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but..."
"Let me guess," the Major interrupted, "it broke down."
"No," said the soldier., "there were so many dead horses in the road, it took forever to get around them."
- Australian marriage All the farmers for a hundred miles around were attending the wedding of a young Australian couple. Waiting for things to get started, they were somewhat shocked to see the bride's father storm up the aisle, jacket off, sleeves rolled up, and obviously very angry.
'The weddin's off,' he shouted... - Constipation! An old lady went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation.
'It's terrible,' she said, 'I haven't moved my bowels in a week.'
'I see. Have you done anything... - Science Professor! A student visited his old school, 20 years after his graduation, and met an old Science professor of his.
The professor happened to be grading exam papers, and the student was surprise to notice that the questions were exactly the same as they were... - Wrong number! The worried Preeto sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear.
'How are you, darling?' she said. 'What kind of a day are you having?'
'Oh, mother,' said Preeto, breaking into bitter tears, 'I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the... - A beautiful thing! My god! What happened to you?' the bartender asked Richards as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast.
'I got in a tiff with Martin.'
'Martin? He's just a wee fellow,' the barkeep said, surprised...