-
"Are You Paying Attention?"
A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting.
"You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The first thing is that you must have no sense of fear."
At this point, the lecturer sticks his finger into the dead man's anus, and then licks it.
He asks all the students to do the same thing with the corpses (dead body) in front of them.
After a couple of minutes silence, they follow suit.
"The second thing is that you must have an acute sense of observation: I stuck my middle finger into the corpse's anus, but I licked my index."
- Thirty erections! A man is having problems with his penis, which certainly had seen better times.
He consults a doctor who, after a couple of tests, says, 'Sorry, but you've overdone it the last thirty years. Your penis is burned out. You only have... - Speech impediment There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store.
He went up to the shop assistant and asked 'Could I have a fucket please?'
The assistant asked, 'Pardon sir?'
'Can I have a fucket please?' Replied the man.
'Oh you mean... - Honeymoon!!! The old couple were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 50th wedding anniversary.
The old woman said, 'We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon.'
'Uh huh,' said the old man.
'We will do... - Pregnant! A seventeen-year-old girl goes to see her mom and tells her that she has missed her period for two months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says... - Honesty! Three ladies, Jeeto, Preeto and one of their old friend, are at a cocktail party. The conversation turns to their position in life, and it's clear that they're trying to one-up each other.
Jeeto says, 'My husband is taking me to the Switzerland for two weeks on vacation.' She looks at the others with...