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    A pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested, then suddenly a whiskey came along.
    Pizza thought: "Ok. I'll let him pass, there's no hurry."
    Two minutes later another whiskey comes by and pizza let him pass too, but two minutes later when the next one got there, pizza stoped him, "What's going on out there?" it asked.
    "Why, there's a party going on!! It's great! They're having the most fun!!" the whiskey replied.
    And pizza said, "Great, I'll go check it out!"
  • Too much beer A guy walks into a bar with his girlfriend.
    A very drunk man in the bar looks at the girl and says loudly, 'If you were my woman, I would lick you from top to bottom like a lollipop.'
    The boyfriend is angered and starts to get up to kick the drunken guy's ass. The girlfriend stops him, telling him...
  • Chocolate peanuts! Santa visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table.
    Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and...
  • Plus sign!!! Little Johnnie's parents had tried everything to help his math grade: tutors, flash cards, 'Hooked on Math,' special learning centers, everything. Finally, they enrolled him in the local Catholic school.
    The very first day, he came home with a very serious look on his face, went straight to...
  • Bedtime Football! An old man and his wife had just gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the old man cut a fart and says 'Seven Points.'
    His wife rolls over and asks, 'What in the world was that?'
    The old man says...
  • Heart attack! Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time.
    After inquiring about each other's health one asked how the other's husband...
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