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    Banta, a mystery-lover take his place in the theater for opening night, but his seat is way back in the theater, far from the stage.
    Banta calls an usher over and whispers, "I just love a good mystery,and I have been anxiously anticipating the opening of this show. However, in order to carefully follow the clues and fully enjoy the play, I have to watch a mystery close up. Look how far away I am! If you can get me a better seat, I'll give you a handsome tip."
    The usher nods and says he will be back shortly.
    Looking forward to a large tip, the usher speaks with his co-workers in the box office, hoping to find some closer tickets. With just three minutes left until curtain, he finds an unused ticket near the ticket window and snatches it up.
    Returning to Santa in the back of the theater, he whispers, "follow me."
    The usher leads him down to the second row, and proudly points out the empty seat right in the middle.
    "Thanks so much," says Banta, "This seat is perfect."
    He then hands the usher a quarter.
    The usher looks down at the quarter, leans over and whispers, "The butler did it in the parlor with the candlestick."
  • Obligations!!! Two attorneys boarded a flight out of Singapore. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, a physician got on and took the aisle seat next to the two attorneys.
    The physician kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the attorney in the window seat said...
  • Raffle ticket! A funeral service is being held in a church for a woman who has just passed away.
    At the end of the Service, the pall-bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.They hear a faint moan.
    They open the casket and find that...
  • Avoid ducks! Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven.
    When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven... don't step on the ducks.'
    So, they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
    It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although...
  • The Captain! Observing a light across the water, the captain had his signalman instruct the other vessel to change her course ten degrees south.
    The response was prompt, 'Change your course ten degrees north.'
    'I am a captain,' he responded testily. 'Change your...
  • Chronic disease! An army Major visiting the sick army men, went to one soldier and asked, 'What's your problem, Soldier?'
    'Chronic syphilis, Sir.'
    'What treatment are you getting?'
    'Five minutes with...
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