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    A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore the door off of the driver's side. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up.
    Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.
    When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief.
    "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
    "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
    The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
    "Ahhh!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex!"
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    Eight, she replied.
    'What are their names?' he asked.
    'Robert...
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    It was the wee small hours of the morning and the lady of the house flung open a window and shouted at them to keep quiet.
    'Is this where...
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    'Jeeto darling' he says 'what's the matter, you are still in your robe.'
    'Ah Dear,' says Jeeto, 'I was not feeling well. I didn't know what to do so I called Doctor...
  • Etiquettes! One day these two fine ladies were sittin' on the front porch having some iced tea.
    One of the women sticks out her hand for the other woman to see, and says, 'Look at this ring my husband gave me. Isn't it nice?'
    To which the other woman replies, 'Oh that's nice, that's real...
  • Sniffer!!! A man gets on a plane with his dog.
    'You can't bring a dog on this plane', says the stewardess!
    'But this dog is special,' says the passenger, 'he's a sniffer dog.'
    'Prove it', says the stewardess.
    The man clicks his fingers and the dog runs off down the plane. After a minute...
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