That's a thought

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    A man accused of robbing a bank was tried for the final time and was found guilty.
    Just before he was taken away, the man looked the judge in the eye and said, "Would it be okay if I called you a son of a bitch?"
    The judge’s face went red and he roared, "It most certainly would not! I’d add another two years onto your sentence!"
    The defendant nodded and then asked, "Would it be okay if I THOUGHT you were a son of a bitch?"
    The judge was becoming very annoyed but replied, "Yes, I suppose that would be okay. I obviously have no control over your thoughts."
    The defendant smiled and said, "Well, in that case, judge, I think you are a son of a bitch!"
  • Great strength! Fireman John rushed into a burning building and rescued a beautiful young lady who was clad only in the top half of her baby-doll nightgown.
    He carried her in his arms down three flights of stairs and saved her from her sure demise.
    As they arrived safely...
  • Stage show! A man took his wife to a Broadway show. During the first act intermission, he had to urinate in the worst way.
    He hurried to the back of the theatre and searched in vain for the men's room.
    At last he came upon a fountain surrounded by pretty foliage. He realized...
  • Missing arm! A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore the door off of the driver's side. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone...
  • Blessing! A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car.
    After the purchase, they drove it home and parked it on the street between...
  • Last name!!! A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, How many children do you have?
    Eight, she replied.
    'What are their names?' he asked.
    'Robert...
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