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    One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.
    At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.
    Oh, did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it.
    The next day the same thing happened, Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the one after that, and so forth. This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him.
    Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself.
    So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!,"
    The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not?!?"
    With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."
  • Lawyer in a family For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn.
    The last time he’d finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with...
  • Animal Complaints It seems that God received a delegation of animals complaining of their lot. They were an elephant, a giraffe, and a hen.
    The elephant complained, 'Lord, I HATE THIS TRUNK YOU have given me. It gets in the way, and makes me look like a fool!'
    The Lord said, 'Don't complain. It lets...
  • Technically correct!!! A helicopter was flying above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.
    The pilot saw a tall building...
  • Honking A lady was out driving her car and when she stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection, and the traffic behind her starting growing.
    The guy in the car directly behind her started honking his horn continuously as the lady...
  • Just confirming A guy phones a law firm and says, 'I want to speak to my lawyer.'
    The receptionist says, 'I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last week.'
    The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, 'I want to speak to my lawyer.'
    Once again the receptionist replies, 'I’m sorry, but your lawyer died last...
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