Smart Professor!

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    Mr. Robert, the old history teacher had a dirty mouth. He was always saying something off color or suggestive.
    One day after class, Sally approaches his desk with a flock of girls in tow.
    "Mr. Robert," she said, "We are tired of your filthy remarks and we aren't going to put up with in anymore! The next time you say something nasty in class, we are all going to complain to the principal."
    Mr. Robert was silent and the girls stormed off thinking they had cowed him.
    The next day as everyone arrives in class, Mr. Robert is reading the newspaper.
    The bell rings, but he continues to read.
    Finally, he looks up and says, "Oh girls, you should find this interesting. The government is recruiting whores to go to Iraq and screw the servicemen over there for $150 a day."
    All at once the girls get up and head for the door.
    "Wait a minute!" shouted Mr. Robert. "The boat doesn't leave till Thursday!"
  • Sniffer dog!!! Police officers Joe and Mary had been assigned to walk the beat. They had only been out a short while when Mary said, 'Damn, I was running late this morning and forgot to put on my panties! We have to go back to the station to get them.'
    Joe replied, 'We don't have to go back, just give...
  • Peeing ! A drunken man was casually peeing into a drinking fountain in the park.
    A police officer comes up to him and yells frantically.
    'What do you think you're doing. There's a public toilet...
  • The Confession! There was this young woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional box, she said, 'Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.'
    The Priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'
    The young woman said, 'Well, last night...
  • The acid test!!! Little Johhny was sitting on the side walk with a small bottle of sulphuric acid, pouring drops on the ants as they crawled past.
    A priest passing by saw this, and approached him.
    'Good morning, young man. What are you doing with that...
  • Bottled stuff! After much soul searching and having determined Banta is infertile, he and his wife Preeto decided to try artificial insemination.
    When Preeto showed up at the clinic, she was told to undress from the waist down, get on the table and place her feet in the stirrups.
    She was feeling rather awkward about the entire procedure when...
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