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Murphy and his friend George go golfing together one Saturday morning, as they have done for 20 years straight.
Later that day, Murphy returns home exhausted, and plops down in the easy chair. His wife is concerned and asks if something went wrong with his game.
"No, no," he replied, "I had the best game I had in years! As a matter of fact, I started out the first three holes at 4 under par, including a hole-in-two on the 3rd."
"So why are you so beat?" his wife asked.
"Well, George had a heart attack and died on the 4th hole," he said.
"What??? And you're so exhausted from trying to save him, huh?"
"No, It was very quick and there was nothing anyone could've done. But after that, it was just hit the ball, drag George, hit the ball, drag George..."
- Drowning!!! One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world twenty feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth, but with no scuba gear whatsoever.
The diver went below another twenty feet, and the guy... - Nothing to worry! While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered and George looked out of the window.
'Good lord!' he screamed, 'one of the engines just blew up!'
Other passengers left their seats and came running over; suddenly the aircraft was rocked by a second blast as yet another... - Praying Johnny! Little Johnny was walking along the railroad tracks when suddenly he got his foot caught under one of the railroad ties. He tried to get it out but it was really stuck. As he struggled to free his foot, he heard a noise and turned around. To his horror he saw a train coming.
Panicked he started to pray... - Who's fastest! Santa's son and two of his friends were heading home from school one day when one started the time-honored game of paternal one-upmanship.
He said, 'My dad's way faster than any of yours, he can bowl a 90-kmph fast ball and run and catch it just after it crosses the wickets at... -
Lunch An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways.
She decided she would take her lunch, sit with the workers and talk with them.
She put her sandwich in...