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    A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.
    Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole wants to buy a half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."
    The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.
    Later the manager found the boy and said, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"
    "Canada, sir," the boy replied.
    "Well, why did you leave Canada," the manager asked.
    The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there."
    "Really!" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada!"
    The boy replied, "No kidding???? Who did she play for?"
  • Pure wife! There was a man who wanted a pure wife. So he started to attend church to find a woman. He met a gal who seemed nice so he took her home.
    When they got there, he whips out his manhood and asks 'What's this?'
    She replies, 'A cock.'
    He thinks to himself that she is not pure enough. A couple of weeks later...
  • Smart wife! A woman and her lover, Banta, are having sex. Someone knocks on the door.
    Woman, 'It must be my husband! Ok, I'll handle this.'
    She grabs the trash bin, opens the door and smiling sweetly says to her husband, 'Darling, please, empty the trash.'
    While he is out...
  • Bottom holes! A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. However, hell was nothing like he had expected.
    It was a huge bar, swarming with beautiful blondes. And behind the main bar were dozens of liquor bottles, with labels of the finest liquors known to man. So the guy moseys up to the bar, intending to...
  • Suppositories! Once Santa was badly constipated, so he went to a doctor.
    The doctor prescribed suppositories and told the man to take one once every four hours.
    Santa left the doctor, happy that his problem would soon be gone.
    When he got home, he took a suppository, swallowing it with...
  • Lovemaking! Banta and Preeto came to a sexologist.
    'Doctor, we're married for a few months already, and we love each other, but we get no pleasure whatsoever from our lovemaking.'
    'Hmmm. Maybe you should try another position. Like this.'
    The doctor described the new...
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