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    The manager of a large corporation got a heart attack, and the doctor told him to go for several weeks to a farm to relax. The guy went to a farm, and after a couple of days he was very bored, so he asked the farmer to give him some job to do.
    The farmer told him to clean the shit of the cows. The farmer thought that to somebody coming from the city, working the whole life sitting in an office, it will take over a week to finish the job, but for his surprise the manager finished the job in less than one day.
    The next day the farmer gave to the manager a more difficult job: to cut the heads of 300 chickens. The farmer was sure that the manager will not be able to do the job, but at the end of the day the job was done.
    The next morning, as most of the jobs in the farm were done, the farmer asked the manager to divide a bag of potatoes in two boxes: one box with small potatoes, and one box with big potatoes.
    At the end of the day the farmer saw that the manager was sitting in front of the potatoes bag, but the two boxes were empty.
    The farmer asked the manager, "How is that you made such difficult jobs during the first days, and now you cannot do this simple job?"
    The manager answered, "Listen, all my life I'm cutting heads and dealing with shit, but now you ask me to make decisions."
  • Wrong bus! Santa and Banta are walking home after a night on the piss. They've got no money to get a taxi and are staggering all over the place when they find themselves outside the bus depot.
    Santa has a brainwave and says to Banta, 'Get in there and steal a bus so we can drive home and I'll stay out here and look out...
  • Inheritance! A man walked into the bar and saw an old friend of his, drinking by himself. Approaching his friend, he commented, 'You look awful. What's wrong?'
    'My mother died in May and left me 25,00,000,' the friend answered.
    'Boy, that's tough,' the man replied.
    Continuing, the friend said, 'Then in...
  • (R)ear drops! A Blonde brought her baby in to see the doctor, and right away he determined that baby had an ear ache.
    Doctor wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, 'Put two drops in right ear every four hours' and he abbreviated 'right' as an R with a circle...
  • Dinner party! A couple trying to break into society, hosted a dinner party. As the guests were enjoying their dinner salad, the maid called the hostess from the table. The maid informed her that the cat had climbed on the kitchen table and eaten a large portion of the salmon's mid- section.
    The hostess decided to fill the eaten portion with some canned...
  • Thumb wipe! Banta was driving down the street looking for a place to stop so he could go to the bathroom. He stopped at a bar and went inside.
    'Bartender! Where is the bathroom, I really need to go?!' he asked.
    The bartender pointed him to the bathroom. So Banta went to the bathroom and looked over to the side. There was no...
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