-
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."
"Please," he tried again, "does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!"
- Toughest job! The manager of a large corporation got a heart attack, and the doctor told him to go for several weeks to a farm to relax. The guy went to a farm, and after a couple of days he was very bored, so he asked the farmer to give him some job to do.
The farmer told him to clean the shit of the cows. The farmer thought... - Collateral? Santa applied for a loan of Rs 10,00,000.
The banker pulled out the loan application, 'What have you got for collateral?'
'What's collateral.'
'Well that's something of value that would cover the cost of the loan. Have you... - Wrong bus! Santa and Banta are walking home after a night on the piss. They've got no money to get a taxi and are staggering all over the place when they find themselves outside the bus depot.
Santa has a brainwave and says to Banta, 'Get in there and steal a bus so we can drive home and I'll stay out here and look out... - Inheritance! A man walked into the bar and saw an old friend of his, drinking by himself. Approaching his friend, he commented, 'You look awful. What's wrong?'
'My mother died in May and left me 25,00,000,' the friend answered.
'Boy, that's tough,' the man replied.
Continuing, the friend said, 'Then in... - (R)ear drops! A Blonde brought her baby in to see the doctor, and right away he determined that baby had an ear ache.
Doctor wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, 'Put two drops in right ear every four hours' and he abbreviated 'right' as an R with a circle...