•  

    A woman in an diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten half of it at dinner.
    The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until finally she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the whole cake was gone. The woman went on to tell us how upset she was with her lack of willpower, and how she knew her husband would be disappointed.
    Everyone commiserated, until someone asked what her husband said when he found out.
    She smiled, "He never found out. I made another cake and ate half!"
  • Blind date! Banta sets up Santa to go on a blind date with a friend of his. But Santa is a little worried about going out with someone he's never...
  • Best patient Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.
    The first surgeon says, 'I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you...
  • Common sense! A man walked up to a farmer as he came out of a voting booth, 'I'm from the CBI.'
    'What seems to be the trouble?'
    'We happen to know that you accepted a bribe...
  • The Defendant 'So let me get this straight,' the prosecutor says to the defendant. 'You came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man.'
    'That's correct,' replies...
  • Confessional At one local church, Jack was in charge of taking up the offerings. One Sunday after the services, the priest counted the cash and found it was smaller than anticipated. So he...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT