The perfect substitute!

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    The National Institutes of Health have announced that they will no longer be using rats for medical experimentation. In their place, they will use attorneys. They have given three reasons for this decision:
    1. There are now more attorneys than there are rats.
    2. The medical researchers don t become as emotionally attached to the attorneys as they did to the rats.
    3. No matter how hard you try, there are some things that rats won`t do.
  • Billing of a lawyer? A prominent young attorney was on his way to court to begin arguments on a complex lawsuit when he suddenly found himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter started to escort him inside, when he began to protest that his untimely death had to be some sort...
  • The entry to heaven! Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.
    St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, 'What was the name of the ship that crashed into...
  • The sane advice of a lawyer? Two guys, George and Harry, set out in a hot air balloon to cross the Atlantic ocean.
    After 37 hours in the air, George says Harry, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are.
    Harry lets out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the balloon descends to below the cloud...
  • Mom`s Letter I`m writing this slow because I know you can`t read fast. We don`t live where we did when you first left. Your Dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of home, so we moved. I won`t be able to send you the address as the last family here...
  • Smart blonde... There was a blonde driving down a road in her brand new, green Mustang. She was driving behind a big semi, she wanted to drive faster (because it was a new sports car and everything), so she started to get right on the semi`s tail. This angered the semi driver, he motioned for the blonde...
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