True confessions

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    Four older ladies are sitting around playing bridge. The first lady says, "Hey girls, we have been good friends for too long and there is something I must get off my chest. I am a kleptomaniac. But, don't worry, I have never stolen from you and I never will."

    The second lady says, "Well, since we are having true confessions here, I must get something off my chest too. I am a nymphomaniac. But don't worry, I have not hit on your husbands. They don't interest me and never will; we have been friends for too long."

    "Well," says the third lady, "I, too, must confess something. I am a lesbian. But do not worry, I will not hit on you. You are not my type. We have been friends too long for me to ruin our friendship."

    The fourth lady stands up, says, "I have a confession to make also. I am an uncontrollable gossip, and I have some phone calls to make!"
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  • Kinds of Sex There are three kinds of sex in a marriage.
    The first is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage; you'll have sex anywhere, anytime. Hence...
  • Town Bar The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor of a small congregation. One day he was walking down Main Street and he happened to notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the...
  • Mrs Undertaker A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated.
    As he examined the body of Schwan, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery...
  • Blood Samples Preeto went to the doctor's office for a check-up. The doctor took a blood sample and told her to return in one week for the results.
    One week later, she and her husband returned to the doctor's office...
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