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    Late one Sunday afternoon, a blonde from a small town was taking a long walk through a nearby meadow when she was surprised to see a parachutist trapped in the high branches of a tree.

    "Hellllllp!" he cried when he spotted her down below.

    "What are you doing up there?" she called back.

    "I was skydiving," he answered, "and my parachute didn't open!"

    The blonde rolled her eyes. "Well, of course it didn't. If you'd just asked one of the locals, anybody could've told you that *nothing* around here opens on a Sunday!"
  • Drunk Captain A merchant captain and several of his officers were returning to the ship after an evening of partying ashore.
    As they climbed the gangway, the captain threw up all over himself.
    Pointing to an apprentice seaman above him he shouted...
  • An Identity Problem Santa and Banta sitting in the bar at Raja Sansi Airport, Amritsar.
    'I've come to meet my brother,' said the Santa. 'He's due to fly in from...
  • Indian Sports The Indians and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by...
  • Medical Prescription Santa's father comes home from his doctor and, though usually quite active with his grand-children, seems to make every effort to avoid them this day. Santa notices his...
  • Retired Couple A retired couple is lying in bed one night and are discussing all aspects of their future.
    'What will you do if I...
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