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A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix.
The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest.
Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.
Taped very firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily. Written in large black letters was the sentence.
"Get well quick..... from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week."
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Witness Stand A boy who was a witness to a crime was on the witness stand in court. He was approached by the defense attorney who asked, 'Did anyone tell you what to say in court... - English girl A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answers : 'Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?'
- Santa in ICU A man was brought in to the hospital intensive care ward, put in a bed, tubes coming out everywhere. A week later, another man was admitted, in a similar condition. Both lay there, machines pinging, tubes poking etc...
- Osama in Heaven After his death, Osama bin Laden went to paradise. He was greeted by George Washington, who slapped him across the face and yelled angrily, 'How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!'
- Wrong Hole A young preacher was asked by the local funeral director to hold a graveside burial service at a small local cemetery for someone with no family or friends. The preacher started early but quickly got himself lost, making several wrong...