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Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says; I don't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids... I just don't get it."
"Well," says the big alligator, "what have you been eating?"
"Lawyers, same as you," replies the small alligator.
"Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?"
"Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp."
"Same here. How do you catch them?"
"Well, I crawl under a car and wait for someone to unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite'em, shake the s*** out of 'em, and eat'em!"
"Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. See, by the time you get done shakin' the s*** out of a lawyer, there's nothing left but lips and a briefcase..."
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Time's Up Little Johnny's father was a pastor in a small church. One day, his father told Little Johnny that a very important bishop was coming and that he would be staying with them. Little Johnny became very... -
Psychic Chat A woman went to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic's eyelids begin fluttering and she begins moaning. Eventually, a voice comes... -
Good Appetite They made an engaging looking couple in the swank restaurant: The man was handsome, graying and obviously well off; the woman was a joy to any eye - very young, ravishing and... -
Serious Patient A well-respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered... -
Medical Opinions Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart.
One of the students said to his friend, 'I'm sure he has Petry Syndrome - those people...