Two older men are sitting on a park bench talking and one of them asks the other about his sex life. The man answers that he has an excellent sex life and is still very active.
The other man confesses that his sexual appetite has greatly diminished with old age so he asks the other man if he has any secrets for staying sexually vital.
"Well, " answered the man, "I eat rye bread everyday. That is my secret. If you just eat rye bread, your sex life will improve dramatically."
The other man decides to follow this advice and finds a bakery nearby. He tells the clerk behind the counter that he wants all of the loaves of rye bread that they have in stock.
The clerk then asks the man, "Do you want whole loaves or do you want us to slice them?"
The man looks puzzled and asks the clerk, "What is the difference?"
The clerk responds, "Well when it's sliced, it gets harder faster."
Then the old guy says, "How come everyone knows about this but me?" |
Lost Husband An old Italian couple is walking around in the mall. After a while they get separated, so the woman goes up to the first saleswoman she sees and asks... 
The Mating Call Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating... 
The Winner A man and his wife were talking and he says, "You know, I was thinking of going down to the bar tonight and entering that big dick contest... 
Face the Music A man is walking around the streets of the city one day when he spies an old friend of his from college. "George!" he yells. "I haven't seen you in ages... 
Loose & Flapping A very sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were loose and flapping...