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    Ugliest Partner
    An American moves to this remote town in the Scottish highlands. On his first night there he goes out to the local pub and after a few pints he notices that there are no women around. He asks these two guys next to him where to find the women in town.

    One of the Scotsman says, "Really aren't any women in town that aren't married."

    The American finds this news disturbing and asks, "Well what do you do for fun?"

    The other Scotsman says, "We usually go down to the pasture and find a sheep to fuck."

    The American is horrified and leaves the pub. After a couple years in town he begins to crack. He goes back to the pub and finds the same two Scotsmen.

    He says, "I'm fucking losing it. I need some sex. Tonight when you guys go down to the pasture take me with you."

    So they head down to the pasture a the Scots say, "Since you've never done this before we'll let you go first."

    The American grabs the first sheep he can get his hands on and starts fucking away. The two Scotsmen are double over with laughter.

    The American says, "Hey! Why are you laughing? I thought you guys did this all the time."

    The Scotsmen say, "We do! But you chose the ugliest one!"
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